Anxiety is an emotional state in which people feel uneasy,
apprehensive, or fearful. People usually experience anxiety about events they
cannot control or predict, or about events that seem threatening or dangerous.
There is a feeling of vulnerability, and severe anxiety can persist and become
disabling.
Most people can get a grip on things if they take a few
minutes to develop a different relationship with their thoughts and feelings. Here
are 10 approaches to take:
Repeat your worry until you’re bored silly – If you had a
fear for elevators, you’d get rid of it if you rode in one a thousand times in
a row. So, take the troublesome thought that’s nagging at you and say it over
and over, silently, slowly, for 20 minutes. It’s hard to keep your mind on a
worry if you repeat it that many times.
Make it worse – When you try too hard to control your
anxieties, you only heighten them. Instead, exaggerate them and see what
happens. For instance, if you fear that your mind will go blank during a
presentation, fake it intentionally in the middle of the next one.
Don’t fight the craziness – You may occasionally have
thoughts that lead you to think you’ll do something terrible. Remember our
minds are creative. Little synapses are firing away at random, and every now
and then, a “crazy” thought jumps out. Everyone has them. Instead of judging
yours, describe it to yourself like it’s a curious object on a shelf and move
on.
Recognize false alarms – That fear of your house burning
down because you left the iron on have never come true. That rapid heart beat doesn’t
mean you are going to have a heart attack; it’s your body’s natural response to
arousal. Many thoughts and sensations that we interpret as cues for concern,
even panic are just background noises. Think of each of them as a fire engine
going to another place. You've noticed them; now let them pass by.
Turn your anxiety into a movie – You can let go of a worry
by disconnecting yourself from it. One way is to imagine that your anxious thoughts
are a show. Maybe they are a little guy in a funny hat who tap dances and sing
out your worry while you sit in the audience, eating popcorn, a calm observer.
Set aside worry time – All too often we take a “Crankberry”
approach to our worries: They show up unannounced, like constantly dinging
emails, and we stop everything to address them even if we should be doing
something else.
Take your hand off the horn – You constantly check the
weather before a big outdoor event. You replay that clumsy comment you made,
wishing you could take it back. And, yes, you honk your horn in the traffic. When
you desperately try to take command of things that can’t be controlled, you’re
like the swimmer who panics ad slaps at the water, screaming. It gets you
nowhere. Instead, imagine that you are floating along on the water with your
arms spread out, looking up to the sky.
Breathe it out – You may notice that when your body is
tense, you hold your breath. Focusing on breathing is a common but effective
technique for calming the nerves. Where is your breath now and where is your
mind? Bring them together. Listen to the movement of your breath. Does your
mind wander somewhere else? Please call it back.
Make peace with time – When you‘re a worrier, everything can
feel like an emergency. But notice this about all your anxious arousal: it’s
temporary. Every feeling of panic comes to an end, every concern eventually
wears itself out, every so-called emergency seem to evaporate. Ask yourself, “How
will I feel about this in a week or month?” This one too, really will pass.
Don’t let your worries stop you from living your life – Many
of them will turn out to be false, and the consequences of your anxiety – less
sleep, a rapid pulse, a little embarrassment – are just inconveniences when it
comes down to it. What can you still do even if you feel anxious? Almost anything!
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